Losing a dear friend

Gosh, life moves in astonishing ways, doesn’t it? Just when you think you’re going left, you go right instead.

This week has been a week of loss in so many ways that it kind of made my head spin.

I know the last time I felt like this, it was because of something pretty major in my life.

Can you tell what that was?

Losing a friend is disorienting. You think for one minute that there must be some mistake and then the reality begins to sink in and you feel barren and cold inside. You’ll never see their smiling face or funny looks anymore and it saddens you completely. Then it angers you. Then it saddens you again. Then it angers you again. . .

This week we lost a friend. He wasn’t a friend I knew many, many things about, other than that he loved his wife and family, enjoyed a good beer with friends, and ate good hearty food when it was around — the way we all hope to live our lives. But he also carried an insidious illness that first stole his happiness, and then stole his life. And we didn’t know about it. He was so good at keeping it a secret that none of us knew.

I could be talking about someone you know, or someone I know. All I truly know is that a friend of mine has passed away and I’m very, very sad this week.

On an infinitely smaller scale, my garden is also on the tender brink of dying. It’s disheartening to watch the plants I planted from seed — having broken through the soil and grown through the light of the sun — turn into sad, limp, half-broken branches. I fear one has already gone past the point of no return.

So you can see that I’ve been around death a fair bit this week.

I’m learning that this is a part of life. Sadness. Letdown. Grief.

I’m going to continue taking care of my plants, even if one has perished. Perhaps some fruit will be born anyway.

If I learned anything from my father passing away, it’s that death may occur, but you musn’t let it surround you. It may threaten and beckon at the door, but you must be strong enough to continue on.

Y’all know the line:

You-shall-not-pass

 

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One thought on “Losing a dear friend

  1. Ellen August 16, 2014 at 3:18 pm Reply

    Thank you for sharing Olga, it is beautifully written.

    Xo

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